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Archive for the ‘Kratos (God of War)’ Category

Kratos vs. Thor

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

As blade meets hammer, for hours on end, neither warrior is willing to give an inch.  The sounds of their battle echoes throughout the land; no words are spoken, for none are needed.  These men, these Gods relish the violence and clamour of war, both feel most alive when at their most destructive.

Blow by blow the combatants counter one another.  Kratos’ savagery is matched by Thor’s strength and experience.  Their conflict seems endless, their strategies exhausted until the Spartan pulls one final ace from his sleeve and summons the army of Hades.

The ground heaves and swells until finally the damned souls of warriors past burst underfoot; their swords and cries of woe overwhelm the God of Thunder as they strike at the very heart of his being.  They attack his body and mind, their fear and pain is set loose upon his metaphysical form - they stab at his soul.  This once mighty Avenger is brought to his knees, his hammer Mjolnir has been ripped from his grasp, but he is not beaten.  As the barrage from the dead tapers off, Thor Odinson rises to his feet, and with arms outstretched calls forth the power of the storm.  The sky clouds over and darkness grips the land; deafening winds force Kratos backwards as he struggle against them.  He has witnessed the rage of the gods before but never has he seen one with a fiery anger that could match his own.

“You are truly a great warrior, Kratos of Sparta,” Thor says looking skyward, “but your time on Midgard is at an end…Valhalla waits for you.”

So with that final promise Thor splits the sky with lightening so fierce and brilliant that Kratos has no hope of defending himself.  He cries out to Ares but his saviour will not come.  Again and again Thor pounds the Greek with the fury of the storm.  Soon enough, Kratos is down; Thor approaches, mystical hammer once again in his hand.  With a final arcing blow Kratos is defeated and an eerie calm settles across the land.

Deadpool vs. Kratos

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

“So wait, is this like a game show or something?”
“No, I think it’s more like someone’s twisted version of Survivor.”
“But it’s not a game show? Damn, I was hoping Bob Barker was going to tell me to ‘Come on Down!!’”
“Okay, time to focus.  Somewhere out here there’s a very angry Greek who wants to turn us into souvlaki.”
“But I really wanted to win a car!  Oh, and watch that yodelling guy climb the mountain!  I love that little guy.”

Deadpool’s inner dialogue keeps his mind off of the task at hand, but it doesn’t make him any less aware, it is simply a symptom of his psychosis.  His target, the Greek warrior Kratos, though not without baggage, is not cursed with such duplicity and is as dangerous an opponent as he has faced.

“You never did tell me how we’re going to confront this guy.”
“Me?!  I thought you were the brains of the operation?
“Oh man…we’re boned.”

Skulking through the undergrowth Wade Wilson tracks the rogue Spartan; it proves to be easier than expected.  Kratos cuts a swath of destruction through the forest; in his search for Wilson he leaves shattered trees and scorched earth in his wake.  It’s not long before he comes across his quarry

“Where are you little man!?” Kratos asks the trees.

“I think he’s talking to you buddy.”
“What?  But that means he’s talking to you too.”
“Nope, not anymore, this is all you.  I don’t want any part of our demise.  You fight him.”
“Well, I gots to do, what I gots to do.”   And with that, the Merc with the Mouth tempts fate and lunges from the foliage, swords drawn, screaming “BANZAI!!” 

But Kratos is ready for him.  As Deadpool’s swords bear down on his exposed back, he unleashes Poseidon’s rage, engulfing the mercenary in blue lightning, destroying flesh and searing bone.  The force of the blast throws Deadpool backward, his body ricochets off trees.

“Well that didn’t quite go as planned.”
“May I suggest a new strategy…how about not getting electrocuted?  That sounds like something we should look into.”
“Alright, I’ll take it up with the board at the next meeting, but right now I’m busy killing this albino.”

Before Wilson can even stand, the Greek is on top of him, his chain blades glowing an ominous orange colour.  “Any last words cretin?” Kratos asks, preparing to deliver one final blow.

“Umm, ya…have you ever thought about getting a tan? Your complexion could really use some time in the sun.” Deadpool says with a smirk.
“No wait; we should’ve said ‘mukluk’!”

And with that one last musing, Kratos drives his blades deep into Wilson’s chest and neck, splitting him into three mangled pieces.  Deadpool slowly bleeds out; with his last thought he wonders what he would look like with flaming chains attached to his wrists…“badass” comes to mind.